Tuesday

5 Wrong Notions that Cause Bad Marriage


Hello friends, if you are reading this, right now, is either you have lost it or you are about to lose it in your marriage, due to the kind of notions you nurse. Bad notions are like a dark cave; the bearer is most usually blind to the truth. They often times believe that’s how it should be. And so, all efforts to restore them become impotent, until they fail out of marriage. Unfortunately, the larger percentage of these notions is borne out of people’s cultures and traditions. Funny enough, any attempt to shed this off makes one an outrageous rebel. It’s an idol of the cave.

Worse still, these have been the poison that produces tyrants, dictators, or carefree, careless, and foolish set of spouses in our society. When you try to correct them, they tell you, you can never be wiser than their fathers, grand fathers and predecessors that have passed such demonic notions down to their generation. Consequently, many marriages suffer and several have broken up while others are crying for help. I know yours is also right on the verge, but you can save it from capsizing. Just identify the kind of notion you nurse and deal with it. Below is a list of them.

*Wives are to obey and never question their husbands’ authority.
As matter of fact, nothing is going to be wrong with the above notion, if husbands can be right always. Moreover, the notion is most definitely going to be perfect if the position of a wife in marriage is set to be that of a servant or slave that must take order always. How do you see your wife; as a slave or partner? It’s true that a woman is to
reverence her husband but not to be bossed around. Women in this part of the world have become objects of service to their husband and nothing more. Is that the way you are treating your wife too and you want to have a successful marriage? I doubt it. You, most times, cry that your wife does not obey or respect you; do you do the same for her? Beware of this notion. Marriage is partnership business, and in partnership, there is no boss-servant relationship. It is a relationship of agreement. Agree with her, not compel her to do your wish. Be wise!

*Women are meant to be in the kitchen; men don’t have any business there.
Many marriages lack varieties and happiness because of this wrong and bad notion. If you are a slave to this bad notion, your marriage cannot be interesting as you would have wanted. Maybe you have forgotten that you didn’t marry a cook. She only cares to keep you and the children healthy. Therefore, it is not wrong for you to do the same for the woman you claim to love. Many cultures and traditions abhor a man cooking for his family. A man cannot fix the plate of his wife and children without his people raising nose. They might even say she has hypnotized him. If your woman can be seen in an apron, you too can. Don’t let this notion blind your eyes to one of the most blissful varieties in marriage. It might even be what your marriage needs most. Cook for her! Make her less inferior and more important. Treat her as the queen she is by helping her in the kitchen that is meant for both of you!

*When you praise or appreciate a woman, it gets into her head.
 There are three basic sets of words that must never be missing in a marriage. These are, “thank you”, “I love you” and “I am sorry”. You really do not have an idea of the havoc you cause to your marriage by not appreciating your spouse enough. Even in business relationships, the words, “thank you” goes invaluably a long way. Come to think of it, how do you cope in a relationship without appreciation? It’s going to be way too dry to be conducive for you both. Consequently, the above notion has ripped many couples apart. There is no amount of appreciation that can measure up with what your spouse has done in love. Appreciation can never be too much in a healthy relationship. Therefore, don’t blow your chances of happiness with ingratitude. Appreciate the way she dresses, cooks, talks, walks, speaks, smiles, dances, sits, advises and cares for you and your children always.

*A man does not need to tell his wife all his plans being the husband.
There is a passage in the Bible that says, “…and they were both naked [but] not ashamed.” Nakedness in marriage is a beautiful thing that can never be traded for gold. Moreover, among all other pillars of marriage is communication. When missing, or done wrongly, there is a war. Many men have acted so foolishly by communicating the secrets meant to be in the confinement of their marriage to either friends or parents. God, the institutor of marriage, makes a couple one in everything. Therefore, the idea of nakedness here is for the man not to hide any of his plans for his wife if he still wants to keep the marriage and his life safe. You are expected to tell every of your plans to her because you cannot succeed without her. Thinking you can, without her, makes you a fool.

*A man must not seek advice from his wife if he still wants to be at the top of the game; she is the one that needs direction.
I tell you, the day a man begins to think he is self-sufficient, the day he starts losing his sanity. The above wrong notion has turned many men into servants, operating under external influences against their marriage. Men, these days, tend to forget the fact that the only person that knows and can determine their success in life is their wives. They have long forgotten that behind every successful man, there is a woman. Little does a man know that his wife is the only one that can advise and still stand by in the execution of his plans. Don’t be na├»ve; her advice is more genuine than that of your parents or friends. She is your better half. Therefore, don’t underestimate her prowess or intelligence, because when it comes to knowing you, she is a professor.