Hi, my name is Sonia from a family of five, all girls but dad. We lived in a bungalow situated in an estate called Akobo along Ife-Ibadan express way. I have been a girl, so cultured and obedient to norms until now. As a child, I hated so many acts that were considered contradictory to both religious and social norms, maybe because my parents did too. Such news or rumours that girls were pregnant before marriage, guys running mad for smoking wee and the rest were abominations, my ears would not want to hear. I dreaded putting myself in the shoes of those victims of circumstances and walking a mile, at least, to feel the itch or pain they coped with -- Parents nagging, friends deserting, sibling denying, society rejecting -- all of these and many more would not want me to dream of becoming one of them. I believed those underworld were better. What more could a leper face that those victims have not faced?
But unlike the leper, these people need nothing of the hostility and abuse their society rain on them. Can’t someone just ask ‘why’ and stop condemning or segregating, forgetting the fact that it could be anybody tomorrow, even YOU? ‘You are a disappointment!’, ‘You are not the type of a son/daughter I thought you were’, ‘How could you have been so shameless?’, ‘You are not worthy to be called my friend, son, daughter, brother, sister, family anymore, so go away!’, ‘I hate you’, ‘I disown you as…’ and many more are the words. How more a leper could be treated than this? I think people are just selfish, considering ‘selves’ rather that ‘us’. When I was sixteen, I became a victim of one of these social vices I dreaded most. Call it incest, if you like, but I fell in love with my cousin. I will tell you how it all begun but we are already secretly married in a court of law now.
It was my first term in Senior Secondary School three, SSS 3, when mom announced formally across the dining table one night that Wale, my cousin would be coming to stay with us for a while. My siblings were excited about the news but I was rather indifferent about it. I ate, that night, without any difference in my mood and went to bed after the traditional family devotion. On the third day, I arrived from school and met mom arriving a little earlier from work with Wale and his two big bags, one containing books and the other, clothes, I presumed. He is two years older than I, according to mom.
“Sweet heart, there is going to be a little rearrangement in this house. You and Tomi will have to move together while Wale uses her room. Don’t worry about Solape, (our last born), she is going to be in my room.” She briskly said.
“Ok mom.” I said.
“Wale, don’t just stand there to stare, put your bags aside and come and help move Tomi’s things into Sonia’s room. And you, Sonia, join hands and let’s do quickly before your sisters arrive from school.” She said.
“Ok ma” I and Wale both sounded.
Everything was perfectly rearranged before other members of the family arrived. At diner Tomi was asked to call Wale who was in-door throughout that day. Dad asked him a few questions about his parents and academics and while he talked I noticed his cute smiles. As the days rolled on, I noticed he was always in-door, watching films on his laptop. That never bothered me anyways. It was not strange from what boys do.
In the bungalow we lived, Tomi and I shared the same bathroom and toilet, while mom and dad shared a bathroom and toilet also. We used to call that of ours, girls’ zone and dad and mom’s parents’ zone. Therefore, I and Tomi and our youngest sister were not always conscious of walking nakedly or loosely around in the girls’ zone, even when changing our robes. But with the new development in the house, we tried to be careful but easily forgot most times that there was a male counterpart now. One morning, when I was just coming out of my sleep, I had only pant on, with my round breasts uncovered, met Wale just the same way at the entrance to the toilet.
“Oh! Sorry, I was going to urinate” He said, backing me.
“Ok…go in first then” I finally stammered, covering my breasts with my two palms shamefully. I suddenly noticed a growth in his boxers, just as if one hid a candle stick in the shorts. He rushed out after a while and I went into the toilet to ease myself too. I later went to school that day and began to think of what I saw in Wale’s boxers. What could this be? I thought it was an ailment he must have been hiding away from people. I pitied him.
Subsequently, I noticed, Wale bringing his laptop to my room more often to watch. Sometimes I watched with him and whenever I saw scenes that mom and dad had always warned us to close our eyes or go into our rooms for, I would roll my eyes away. But Wale would tell me it’s not harmful and would not take anything away from my dignity. I loved those scenes because they make me feel strangely, it’s just that I feared becoming like those losers out there. Dad said everything was wrong with lewd scenes but would not tell me just one of them. Mom never even listened to us or spent times asking about how we felt or thought at all. But I needed someone to tell me why I felt different seeing those scenes.
Wale began to act as my parent. He would come to our room and tell us stories. He would give the advices I wanted to hear and because of the trust I was beginning to have in him, I became drastically careless about my going naked before him to change into another dresses. I would notice his stare at my naked body, but I did not care. To me, it was just as normal as when he was not there. Mom sometimes, noticed him in our room but did not care, I guessed. I became so fond of Wale that we would roughly play when mom and dad were not around. He would tightly hold my breasts and press the hard knot in each, as if it would burst. This became an exciting part of our play because I always felt an explosion between my thighs. I wondered why. I wished mom could explain but she wasn’t there.
I began to innocently feel something more than a cousin for Wale. I was in his room one morning, after I had lied to my parents that I was sick and would not be going to school that day, when he was just coming from bathroom with only a towel loosely tied round his waist. He was startled seeing me and the towel fell off. His manhood angrily sprang out, dangling. I immediately felt an urge, like that of a monkey at the sight of a strand of peeled banana, and a spill was immediately felt between my thighs. My heart began to pound heavily. He looked, a while, at my unstableness and angelically came closer to the bed I was seated, pushed me to lay my back with ease and pulled down my pant. All I remembered was his finger, nibbling to and fro the organ between my thighs. I became long gone and lost in dreamy pleasures. My body shivered and quaked often just like a child under convulsion. I shed tears but was only moaning.
He finally climbed on me and I felt the hard substance crawling into me. I screamed with my eyes almost running off their sockets but later held my peace in pleasure after a number of thrusts. He remained undefeated and struggled in pleasure for a long while but suddenly collapsed on me. This time, he became much heavier than earlier. I managed to push him aside and we both slept off. I woke up first and found his manhood deflated, leaning on one of his naked thighs. I quickly ran out of his bed and hurried straight to my room. The fear of becoming one of those out there overwhelmed me and I began to cry in silence. At dinner, that day, I managed to act normal but was highly suspicious; responding abruptly enough to look innocently as before. But to my surprise, Wale remained undisturbed, he seemed triumphant to me. He was acting so normally. I wondered where on earth he got the shameless audacity.
to be continued...